The last thing you want to do after you have a cancer diagnosis is put the energy in to fighting to get another doctor. At least I didn’t. But cancer round two was my opportunity.
I very quickly realized that the oncologist that I was working with, or more realistically fighting with, was not the best advocate for MY health. She was an advocate for treating me the same way she treated so many others. HER way. I really felt like just another number to her.
I knew I was an individual with individual needs. She had presented the most extreme treatment option for my cancer with life long side effects. When I showed hesitation or asked questions about this plan she got very defensive and wouldn’t answer my questions.
Also when I asked the same question numerous times just for clarity, she would provide a different answer every time. If you don’t have confidence in your doctor, don’t be afraid to take your own health in to your own hands and find another doctor you trust and who will communicate with you. I knew in my heart I needed to make a change.
I had a unique advantage this second time around. The fact that it was my second time around. Unfortunately I wasn’t a newbie at this cancer business. I had dealt with the shock of this once before. And I had learned a lot. I knew I was the best advocate for my own health.
But while being the best advocate for my own health, I knew I needed to find an oncologist that would work with me and not against me. I needed that professional support, a professional advocate.
Going through cancer is hard enough. The last thing you need to be doing while in that battle, is fighting with your doctor. Really in those kinds of instances we are forced to hand over so much of the care of our health to strangers. In my life in each of these circumstances, it was always a stranger charged with making decisions about my care.
But truly, in the end it is always me who has the final word on what happens. Doctors will always present the recommendations on how to move forward with treatment, but in the end it is always the patient (me or you) who has the final word. Even if it might not feel that way.
If we don’t trust the professional caregiver who is recommending the path forward, we need to make some decisions. It is tricky because these medical professionals are usually strangers to us. Sometimes you may be blessed enough to be under the care of someone you know, family or friend, but generally they will at least start out as a stranger.
Just the thought of putting our lives in the hands of someone who don’t know can be difficult. But just because they are strangers to us, does not mean they cannot provide exceptional care and guidance. We don’t really know.
I with a lot of prayer and asking God for direction, was able to know I needed to get a new doctor. I am so grateful that God did give my family and I the information we needed to take this action and provided my new doctor and she was wonderful.
One really important recommendation or encouragement I give to those walking through a health journey, not necessarily going through cancer, is that they are the final decision maker. Not the doctor. We are very blessed here in Canada to have experienced doctors who are able to help us, but they do not decide what we do for our health.
Doctors provide options and recommendations, but only the patient can determine what forward steps to make. It’s really like a power shift. Most patients see the power in the hands of the doctor. But truly the power is in the hands of each patient.
I know the treatment options might not leave much room for decision making, but the final decision comes down to each one of us. Take the power back. You can decide what happens with your health.
If you don’t have a doctor who is willing to work with you, take the time to explain things to you or gets upset if you are uncomfortable doing what they suggest, you may need to make a decision.
That decision may not be easy. But it may be one you never regret. I have never, for one second regretted the decision to put the work in to getting a new oncologist. My treatment path after that change looked very different than it had before.
You are your best advocate. I encourage you to advocate for what you feel is best for your medical treatment. Whether it is serious or not so serious. Those are the times when it can feel like you have no energy to fight for yourself, but those are the times when it can be the most important.
Remember friend, I am praying for you as you walk through these challenges. I pray you have the discernment and courage to do what you feel is best for your health.
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Melodee Glassford 