Coping. It’s something that most of us figure out naturally or sub-consciously to some degree. Sometimes these coping skills or decisions are not the wisest though.
If I am in crisis or under stress about anything, I will generally try to find a way to cope with it. Sometimes purely for sanity in the moment and sometimes to make the situation better.
I think we’ve all seen people who make decisions on how they cope with situations, not in the best way. In the end those decisions make the situation more volatile or destructive. Not constructive. Just very poor choices.
I have come to the conclusion, as have many others, that there are constructive coping mechanisms and destructive coping mechanisms. Or good or bad ones.
So many just live out their lives and don’t even realize they are implementing coping devices, they would just say they are getting through things or just doing what they can. But really I would say that things just come down to how we cope. Or the decisions we make about what we do while handling situations.
We all go through difficult times. It’s a given for life on this earth. Difficult to avoid my friend, very difficult. And there will likely always come a time when you make choices just to be able to cope and get through a situation. No question about that.
But what do you do when that habit sticks around after the difficult time has passed?
What if you aren’t able to recognize that it is an unhealthy habit?
If we cope with things in a helpful, positive and constructive way that is better for us. If we deal with things in a destructive and negative way we will get in more trouble. Either right away or down the road.
A positive coping strategy could look as simple as making sure you get as much sleep as possible each night as you go through a personal struggle. There are so many positives to good sleeping patterns that could be a good coping strategy.
There can be so many reasons why we don’t or aren’t able to cope with things well. Maybe it is because we were never taught differently. Or maybe were never taught at all. There are so many possible reasons.
It could also be because we are so overwhelmed with the stress of a situation. It is really hard to make good decisions in the middle of a highly stressful time in our life. Yet it can be those times in our lives when we learn habits which become our long term coping mechanisms.
I think it’s very probable that someone can be locked in to a unhealthy habit which is a coping tool they use. That could play out from anything like an eating pattern to how they treat others.
I am sure you can imagine someone (possibly yourself) who might make poor choices about what you eat because you are coping in an unhealthy manner about something. This one is very common.
Now friend I am not writing this as someone who has figured all of this out. Far from it. I am probably in a similar place as you. Just trying to figure this out in my life.
It can be difficult to view how we live this out in our lives. It would probably be good for both of us to get feedback from people in our lives about what this looks like for us. Some good old honest feedback.
It would also be healthy steps forward to get people in your life to keep you accountable for the steps you are taking to implement healthy coping mechanisms in your life. Yes accountability. Even though I know that can be a yucky word.
Friend, as per usual I do not speak here as any kind of an expert. I write about things I have struggled and struggle with. I share these thoughts because I am working through them too and hope that I can maybe help you in some ways.
If you have thought about this before you can know you are not alone. If you have not thought about this before then I pray I have given you something to think about. As always, know that I am praying for you and for me as we work through these difficult things.
Comment below with your thoughts about coping mechanisms or anything else. I would really like to hear your thoughts or your questions. Shoot me a personal message through the contact form on the site. I would love it if you like this enough to share it with others. Please SUBSCRIBE in the box above, it helps you know more of what’s going on.
Melodee Glassford 