Relationships – Yikes!

Relationships. It’s a big topic. We all have our own history with relationships, family and friends. Throughout our lives, relationships come and go. Relationships develop and stay. Some take a lot of time and effort and some are just seamless and simple.

Different relationships have different emotions attached to them. I can look back on my life and think of the people I have met, been friends with, and gotten to know, but have also at some point woven out of my life over time for whatever reason. Some have happy thoughts and memories, or maybe even some sad or painful memories.

Throughout the past 25 years going through multiple cancer battles and lengthy depression, I have learned that relationships can take a hit while you are going through crisis. Some relationships will grow stronger and deeper as you walk through the darkness of life’s struggles, and some will grow weaker and maybe even disappear.

My perspective on relationships when I was 16 going through cancer battle number one, was very different than my perspective going through depression at 35. Maturity definitely makes a difference, but that doesn’t mean it makes everything ok. Walking through life with real people making real decisions can sometimes lead to hurt. But can also lead to healing.

My immaturity at age 16, affected how I viewed those in my life at that time. Looking back I have some family and friends who sacrificed for me then, and I know I didn’t fully appreciate what they did back then for sure. I work hard now to not have those chances pass me by, to be grateful for those who love me today.

Since I highly over-think most things, (yes, I am one of those people), I thought a lot about my relationships with many different people while I was going through all of my health struggles. It can be difficult determining how much you share about what you are going through in your health struggle, and with who. What do you tell people who are in differing relational phases with you? Not much, a lot, basic details? Someone who you barely know won’t get all the details and personal info you would likely give a close friend. Being an over-thinking can make things that shouldn’t really be that hard, much harder, like this. Don’t I know it. If you are an over-thinker you definitely understand.

I really had to figure out my relationships through all of these different chapters of my health journey. The refining fire of personal trauma will generally also be the refining fire for relationships. You may be surprised who will battle the fire with you and who will not.

I am so grateful that God has brought back around some relationships I thought might have been lost for good. I am so grateful for those people in my life who have walked with me through the darkness and continued to walk beside me in the light. Who in your life, has walked with you through the dark times, and stuck with you? If you haven’t said thank you to them lately, maybe today is the day. Who in your life is going through a dark time and will need you to walk with them? Don’t wait to come close and fall in to step with them now.