Thoughts – From a Cancer Clinic

After spending the years from age 16 to age 38 being in and out of various cancer clinics countless times, I’ve had one or two (or more) thoughts from a cancer clinic. Thoughts about the cancer clinic and thoughts about people in the clinic.

Probably too many thoughts to share here in a my blog, but I wanted to share some things I have seen and heard while there. Really much of the time was spent sitting waiting. So that gives someone a lot of time to think. Time to look around and see things.

Most of the time I would just be sitting. Sitting in the waiting room. Sitting in the exam room. Sitting, waiting and watching. Oh and listening of course.

I’m a people watcher. And let me tell you, there are a lot of people to watch in a cancer clinic. A lot of comings and goings. I would often sit there just trying to figure out what was happening with different people. Not just the patients in the waiting room, but even the medical staff walking around.

There are so many kinds of people in a cancer clinic. Cancer is something that doesn’t discriminate. People are affected by it from all walks of life, all ethnic backgrounds, all social backgrounds and all different ages.

As I sat in the cancer clinic, I would try to figure out if someone was there waiting to get test results and a cancer diagnosis. Or if they were an appointment veteran and were there for the latest of many chemo treatments or checkups. I would try to figure out who was the patient and who was the supportive family member or friend. Wasn’t always easy, let me tell you! You can’t always tell just by looking from the outside.

A cancer clinic isn’t generally a happy place to be. That shouldn’t really be a surprise to anyone I’m sure. Most people would do all things possible to avoid ending up there. But moments of happiness and joy can be found in a cancer clinic. Since those moments may be few and far between, I think they should be celebrated more.

Those might be the moments when someone has finished their last treatment. Or when they learn their tumour is benign not malignant. I found that if I knew that was what was going on, or I could tell something good happened, I would silently cheer them on. In the darkness of a cancer clinic, those few rays of light provide some hope.

Even if I never spoke to the other patients there, sitting in the waiting room, I felt some connection to them. Something deeper. Although strangers, there was now a very big thing that we had in common. A way to relate to each other. Even though we probably didn’t have the same diagnosis, treatment or cancer journey.

Yet with the ways that we are similar or in similar positions, there are many things that also make us different. Or separate. After thinking about it a lot, I really think it, a lot of it comes down to choices. We are faced with so many small and big choices every day.

Truthfully what can separate us in a cancer clinic is the same. Choices. Choices made before stepping in to the cancer clinic and choices made after stepping out of the cancer clinic.

So many choices made that lead each of us to the cancer clinic. So much of our lives comes down to choices. Where we go, what we do, what we think, who we share our lives with, plus how we react to what happens to us.

Including a cancer diagnosis. I’ve tackled two confirmed diagnoses and had a third very close scare of another one. My choices and the direction of my heavenly Father lead me to those specific health journeys. My choices during those health battles and the provision of my heavenly Father brought me through them. My choices after those health challenges and the wisdom from my heavenly Father have directed me where I go after.

The choices of one person can lead them in a totally different direction than someone else. I realize that is a bit of a no-brainer conclusion. But the consequences can have much great impact and a valuable concept to ponder.

Many choices the patients face in a cancer clinic are the same or very similar as so many others. The details may differ but the larger decisions are relatively similar. The biggest differences are the circumstances around that choice. Plus who we are. We are all different people so the choice is never truly a carbon copy of someone else’s. We all come with different pasts, thoughts and decision making skills to identify a few things.

That is why I find the cancer clinic so interesting. I think having spent so many hours there I needed to find something for my sanity. But yes, I find cancer clinics very interesting. They are a place where different people, from different situations and different backgrounds, come together to the same space for a moment in time and converge together.

What about you friend? Do you think about the choices you make in this way? Maybe you have had some different thoughts if you have ever spent time in a cancer clinic. I would love to hear about them.

Thanks for reading til the end of my rambling musings from a cancer clinic. I spent so much time there I needed to come up with something to do. People watch and ponder. These are not the only thoughts pondered at the cancer clinic, so hold on to your hats folks for more to come in the future.

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