There is no doubt all of us do this or have done this at some point. Compare our self with someone else.
When we compare ourselves to others, in the end we are the ones that lose.
Lose joy, peace, contentment, mental health and possibly relationships. Yet, so many of us live in that mindset of comparing ourselves to others.
In a world that pushes the lives of others in our faces through all kinds of different media, now more than ever, it can be so difficult to escape from the head space of comparing.
I believe that our creator made us each unique and special. And that we each have value. What about you friend, do you believe that?
But so quickly that value gets overshadowed and reduced by what we see when we look at other’s lives and compare.
The comparisons can manifest in so many different ways, but I would classify them in roughly three different ways. I am no expert, but I wanted to share my perspective with you.
The three different ways are, outward appearance, inward substance and life circumstance.
Comparison of outward appearance like physical features, hair, physique, teeth, smile, etc.
Inward substance would be things we would consider personality. Personality traits like a sense of humour, being generous, being a social butterfly, having courage, never being afraid, always knowing what to say, etc.
Life circumstances would be, having a good job, being married, living in a certain place, etc.
From the outside and specifically on social (cover up the bad stuff) media, things in people’s lives can appear to be all sunshine and roses. Rainbows and pots of gold. But in virtual life and even in real life it can be so easy to cover up all of the stuff we want to cover up.
We live in a culture that encourages us to cover up the bad and only show the “good”. But as a result of that false narrative, illusions are created. In those illusions we can so easily fall in to comparisons.
Even though I know in my life I might cover something up to appear a certain way, I can look at someone else and just assume I’m seeing the whole picture and nothing is hidden. Dumb right?
When I view that picture of someone else and their life (even though it’s likely only a small piece of the picture) I make a judgment and can compare what might seem to be perfect or ideal with my life and feel defeated.
Now friend I don’t know if you have never thought about this before, or if this is something you think of all the time, or maybe you fall somewhere in the middle. I share this with you and admit I struggle with this all of the time. I am not sharing this because I have mastered it at all. Comparison is a beast I battle all the time.
What I do in the moments I battle with this, helps keep my sanity for sure, but I do still struggle.
My response in those moments comes in two forms. I take a moment to remind myself that I do not know everything, I can not see everything, so I don’t have the full picture. So I am comparing an apple with an orange, because I don’t know everything about the situation or the person.
The second piece which I find usually tougher is to ask myself what I could do/change? If I am struggling with something, or feel like something is lacking, what can I do about it?
Sometimes there might not be much you can do about it other than to realize you are comparing the apples with the oranges, but maybe there is something you can do. Anything from figuring out how you can make a priority to read for 15 minutes each day so you can learn about history or politics or biographies to have interesting conversations with people. Or how you can save a bit of extra cash to be able to go on a fun trip like all of your friends on social media.
Some of these things might take time and effort, but I would rather put my effort in to something productive like that instead of comparing and living with mental frustration and struggling.
So friend, what about you? Are you ready to re-think comparing yourself with others? I hope you are. Don’t forget I am always praying for you and I pray you see yourself as your creator does, a very special and unique person.
Comment below with your thoughts on comparison or whatever else you like. I would really like to hear your story. Shoot me a personal message through the contact form on the site. I would love it if you like this enough to share it with others. Please SUBSCRIBE in the box above, it helps you know more of what’s going on.
Melodee Glassford 