Time – Longer Than It Should?

Do you know someone who you just speak with for a short time and you feel like you know them really well? Or maybe you are someone who easily shares a lot of things about yourself with people you have just met.

Honestly some people are just like an open book and it doesn’t take very long at all to learn the key parts of who they are and what they are thinking right away.

But then on the other hand there are people who are more the opposite. I would say I fall into that category most certainly.

I am someone who for various reasons, including things that have happened to me throughout the years, can be very closed off. Very protective of myself and don’t share too much too soon.

I could just pretend and say that I’m always more interested in learning about and listening to the other person in the conversation or relationship. But that isn’t always the case. Not always the truth.

I have been hurt enough times in the past, when I have opened up, that I’m more protective of myself in relationships than others might be. I’ve become more aware of the reasons why I do this, but changing can be hard.

I know it can take a long time for people to get to know me, and there are some people who might get frustrated by that or not want to put in the time do this, or see value in it. Some people develop their first impression of me, which might not lead them to want to get to know me more for whatever reason, and then not be willing to see past that first impression or give me another chance.

In the past that has been really frustrating for me, and still at times now it still is, but now I know that person might not be my person. What do I mean by that?

There have been certain people in my life who have been willing to take the time to get to know me. I have really come to appreciate you. The longest lasting and deepest relationships I have are the ones with the people who viewed me as someone they wanted to learn more about and get to know.

I know I’m not alone in this kind of thing. Maybe this is something that hits home for you too. Or maybe you are someone on the other side and have never thought about this before.

Not all of us are in the same place on this one, I am very sure of that. So this might not even be something you have really considered too much or it’s something that you think about a lot.

I don’t know how many times I have heard comments like “oh wow I didn’t know that about you” from someone who has known me a long time. I don’t always know how to respond when this happens sometimes because it’s not like I’ve been keeping things a secret, I just don’t share too much.

For all of the reasons I could find from my past or whatever, I don’t really know why it’s harder to get to know me than anyone else. It just is, I guess. I have thought a lot about this, and have come to accept that it is who I am and it has helped me find more clarity about some things that happen in certain situations and in certain relationships.

And although I don’t believe we need to work to change everything about ourselves, there are always things that we can improve on or at least work towards that. So I am working on being a bit more open and sharing more things about myself.

I spent much of the past 2 days being around a large group of people. Some of these people I have spoken to before and have a bit of a relationship with or working on a relationship with, but some of these people I have never met before. It was quite a mental marathon for me, doing this on my own and stretching my extroversion muscles.

I am naturally more of an introvert, except when watching live sports, so this much social extroversion time was exhausting. But I really tried to get to know the people I was talking to or sitting with, and also let them get to know me better. A tricky balance I am still figuring out.

It’s absolutely not my strongest muscle, but I’m really trying to work on it. I actually think I did pretty well. (Pat on the back)

But just know that if you are getting to know me or you have known me for a very long time, I will likely continue to be a little like Shrek, and have many layers to the onion. You can only peel an onion one layer at a time. (I know some of you will get that reference)

So friends, as always as you and I navigate relationships, and learning things about ourselves and trying to figure things out, I am praying for you. Maybe you aren’t much like me about opening up to people, but maybe there is someone in your life who is and this gave you something to think about.

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