Choice – It’s Up To You

I thought I might as well get it over with right from the start. Instead of keeping you waiting in anticipation to see if I was going to mention making personal choices again, I decided to just come right out and put it in the title.

Don’t you just feel better about it all now? Hhmm cause I sure do.

Anyhoooo moving on.

So what choice do you think I will be talking about this time? It’s one that I consider one of the most important and consequential choices you can make every day.

Whatever you are facing, whatever personal situation is going on in your life, choosing joy.

See it is kind of a big one.

But friend, you and I know that choosing joy isn’t just as simple as just saying it.

Oh no, not even close, it’s possibly one of the most difficult things you will do each day.

Maybe it would be helpful for me to clarify something. This is my personal perspective and I hope you will take the time to consider it, if it isn’t something you have considered before. I know many people think of and use the terms happiness and joy as the same and interchangeable. Many people seek happiness. I don’t.

In a really simple way, I believe that happiness is mostly or completely determined by your external circumstances. Joy on the other hand is not determined by your circumstances at all. It’s something that you choose in spite of your circumstances. Happiness tends to be something much more surfacey. Joy is something that comes from deep down inside of yourself and something that is internal.

I am not coming here as any kind of expert, or saying I have this all figured out. Oh no friend just the opposite of that. I’m learning and struggling with this just like I am sure so many of you do too.

I know there are some days where the choice and actions surrounding it come easier than others. Absolutely.

But there are those darker days when it’s oh so tough. And possibly the last thing you want to do.

I can remember many days when I was so unwell after my thyroid removal surgery and walking through cancer treatment for that.

I only had enough strength to go from my bed to the couch and some days I only picked one of those to camp out at for the full day.

I did eventually stop driving as I didn’t feel safe enough to drive. Those were some very dark and lonely days, my friend, dark days.

So how could I choose joy in moments like those? It doesn’t make sense.

It was very difficult and I freely admit I failed spectacularly in so many of those moments, but I made a conscience effort each day to find joy in the midst of all of that difficulty. Oh boy, was it tough!

But I didn’t allow those failures in those moments or the choices to take my mental space to darker places keep me from choosing differently next time. Even if I made 4 out of 5 choices to choose despair or frustration, that one choice to reach for joy made a much bigger difference.

Now if I don’t tell you the real reason I choose joy, then what’s the point of writing this?

My joy in the midst of whatever circumstances surround me, come from my personal christian faith. Without that I don’t know where I would be. I can’t do this in my own power.

So what does joy look like? Does it mean you have a goofy grin on your face every day? Maybe? But probably not.

I’ve recently had a few conversations with people in my life who have asked me about my response to some very big aspects of my life that just haven’t gone the way I had planned or the way I had hoped. The questions centered around my response to these disappointments. Wondering if I was even disappointed with these situations or if I had hoped for something else to have happened.

I was surprised by some of these questions but they really made me think. Have I really been pretending that everything is ok, or have I been choosing joy instead of darkness and outward frustration? These conversations were a great opportunity for me to realize I might need to be more open about what I’m going through, but they were also unexpected opportunities to speak to how I work to choose joy even when it’s hard or might not make sense to someone else.

Joy will probably be more evident in the words you say and how you act than a lopsided grin. It can be what you speak about and the words you use to address what is going on. Some might confuse it with acceptance or being ok with difficult things that might be going on in your life, even if you aren’t.

It may even feel false sometimes. But that is definitely not the goal.

Friends, as always I don’t have this all figured out, but I wanted to share this with you to make you think a little bit deeper. I will be praying for you as you think about choosing joy over happiness and that you find the strength to do it. I know I wouldn’t be able to choose joy without my personal faith and I encourage you to pursue answers there.

Comment below with your thoughts about this or anything else. I would really like to hear your thoughts or your questions. Shoot me a personal message through the contact form on the site. I would love it if you like this enough to share it with others. Please SUBSCRIBE in the box above, it helps you know more of what’s going on.