Can I say something to you that I really wish that someone would say to me sometimes?
You are not behind.
I know it can feel that way. I know you look around sometimes — at people your age who seem further along, more settled, more put together — and you feel this quiet, nagging sense that you’ve somehow missed a step. That your life should look different by now. That you should have figured out more, accomplished more and healed more.
But here’s what I’ve been thinking about. There is no universal timeline for our lives. There is especially no universal timeline for a life that has included illness, or a season of darkness, or years spent walking through something that most people will never have to face. Those chapters don’t pause the life clock. They are the clock. They count. They are part of your story just like they are a part of my story, not an interruption to it.
I spent four years in an environment that slowly changed me in ways I am still trying to understand. Coming out the other side of that at the same place as someone who spent those years in far different circumstances would have been impossible. I wasn’t behind. I was going through a different chapter. A harder one. One that asked more of me than I ever expected to give or thought I could handle.
And so are you, maybe friend.
The comparison mentality is particularly frustrating for people who’ve been through difficult seasons because it might ask you to measure yourself against people who didn’t have to walk through what you did. That is not really a fair comparison.
What I’ve found is that the people who’ve been through the hardest things often arrive at wisdom, clarity, and depth of character that the easier pathway simply doesn’t produce. Not better than anyone else. Just different than others. Shaped differently. Coming out with a perspective that cost something to receive. But is of great value.
You, friend, have that. Even if you can’t see it fully yet. Even if you’re still in the middle of a chapter that doesn’t make sense to you yet. We rarely find clarity in the midst of what we are going through.
You are not behind. You are exactly where your particular story and God has brought you. And that story is not finished. More chapters are to come. Don’t you find that at least a little bit exciting and maybe a relief?
Keep going, friend. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
This one is for you. Wherever you are today. I’m praying for you as you reflect on where you have been, and keep moving forward. No you aren’t behind at all.
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Melodee Glassford 